For so long I have felt disconnected from my life. Wondering when I would feel like myself again. I have decided I will never be the girl I use to be. I am different. Not in a bad way just not what I use to be. In ways I am stronger and in others not so much. But you know what? That is ok. So I have decided to think back on my journey and think about who I am as the new me. This blog will continue as I discover new things.
*Proud* I took a huge step February 2013 and traveled 3 hours from home to attend Bosma Rehabilitation for the Blind in Indianapolis. And although I had Richie by my side I was terrified. It wasn't long though I felt myself smiling again, really truly smiling. Being at Bosma allowed me to meet people who where facing the same struggles as me and it wasn't long before I settled into a healthy daily routine. I was determined. Determined to learn the things I needed to learn to be independent again. I am someone who with much dedication and hard work learned Grade 1&2 braille in 4 months so I could once again do one of the things I loved the most. Read a book. When I lost my sight so much of my world came crashing down and as much as I tried to put on a brave face and conquer my new obstacles, inside I was scared. How would go on? How would I function in life without my sight. Eternally I struggled, letting old demons come back to the surface.
*Recovering* Not long after losing my sight my addiction to self-injury took a hold of me again. I will never be ashamed. Not proud but never ashamed. Everyone has their demons and unfortunately this was one of mine. In the past I had always been able to hide my weakness but no more. It broke my heart that my family had to witness me being so broken. It took time. A lot of time but I am happy to say I have not self-harmed in 6 months.
*Accomplished/Growing* May 31, 2013 I completed my journey of learning at Bosma. I will be forever indebted to them. They helped me regain my independence. I knew I wanted to volunteer and pay it forward. It was a while but I am now back at the place that makes all my fears and troubles fall away. Even now as a volunteer I am learning how to do new things. Since being back not only have I worked with clients learning braille and typing I have learnt how to paint by touch and I have assisted with building a birdhouse. All of these things make my heart soar.
*Lucky* My support system is unbelievable. Not only do I get support from Richie and my family and best friends Chanel and Crystal but now I also have people in my life that I met through Bosma as well as a recipe group on Facebook. As unconventional as it sounds they know me better than most. I have been blessed with finding people that hold a passion for cooking the way that I do. These new friends will always hold a special place in my heart.
At this point in my life I know one thing. I am stronger. I may not be where I need to be just yet but I'll get there.
